Happy Birthday Kabiyesi

By Abu Onyiani

I don’t recall how exactly I found Ajibola Salami’s page, but I could feel his vibe from the very first moment. It was during the #ENDSARS protest that we finally connected, when he commissioned me to write an article on my observations. Ironically, I almost lost my life to the protest, but this is not that story.

After my first article was published, I had then zealously poured Ororo on the floor and slid inbox, asking for a chance to publish my mind daily (something I am currently doing), and all he said was “Calm down, we’ll see”. From there, a friendship between us blossomed, sometimes as father and son, two best friends exchanging banter, and even “enemies” hotly debating an issue from opposing teams, which is quite often, like once every 4 market days (those who are close to us can confirm this).

This is why I laugh when Irreversibly daft lobotomised brain dead morons begin a chorus of “Abu is close to Ajibola Salami for giveaway”, vaingloriously revellling in their stupidity as they sing their cacophonous Jabba, laced with anger of their ineptness, and because they were “deleted and blocked”. Again, this is not that story.

The biggest quality he has, as Petra Akinti Onyegbule puts it, is the ability to take zero fucks. He exudes a Pete Edochie like charisma, that is only tempered with his ability to be humane and down to earth, on the occasion that he chooses.

He is kind, a Benevolent Dictator, gracious, royal, vastly traveled and robustly educated. He is also a model husband and dad, and an inspiration for individuals seeking a career path, peppered with academic excellence.

In October last year, my mum was involved in a freak fire accident. Inspite of our relationship, I didn’t tell him immediately, and when I did, he was hysterical. He texted everyday for months to ask about her condition, and sent money on several occasions. As a rule, I am very meticulous when accounting for people’s money, and to show him I was telling the truth, I could have sent him photos or videos of at least me in the hospital ward, but I didn’t.

I didn’t like the condition of my Ma, and everything about the hospital ward depressed me, except the pretty nurses, many of whom are my friends till this day. He believed me anyway, and when my mum had sent a 6 second thank you voice note when I told her Kabiyesi sent money, he had blushed like I did when I recieved my first kiss, and warned me never to mention any of our financial exchanges anywhere. Also, till this day, Kabiyesi still routinely checks up on my mum, and asks always “DO YOU NEED ANYTHING.”

Every budget, project or deal I am pursuing, so long as he knows, the only automated response he delivers is “Where do I come in?” There has been no time he didn’t show support or ask questions that suggests he mistrusts me, and the few times I have gone all out to prove my honesty, Baba had rebuked it sternly with “I TRUST YOUR JUDGEMENT”.

How then would I not be loyal a man who is entirely loyal to his own?

In March, he sent the final installment -he paid fully for them- for video equipments, and it is May, not one video has been published yet, owing to my own factor, yet he has never entertained the thought that I “Jonzed” him. Even on days and weeks when his lump sums would be resting on my account and I wouldn’t process payments to people I am supposed to, his replies are my apologies is always “RELAX, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT”. When he could easily have believed I may have used the money and was looking for a place to complete it. The same trust some halfwits have abused and believed they scammed him.

How then, would my loyalty to him be based on money?

Many articles he paid for in March and April are yet unpublished, he could thought I have scammed him, but he trusts me anyway. Thus us the kind of person he is.

He is proud, because he has the workings to show for it. He is arrogant? Rude? That’s to you, I have another view of him. He is genuinely concerned about my growth, and that is enough for me.

Happy Birthday Kabiyesi, You are a great man. Everyone can attest to that. Thank you for the gift of knowing you.